to think about what we’re not thinking about

man kissing a pregnant belly

going through my old writings, i found something i wrote when i was dreaming of having a child. it’s beautiful, vulnerable and worth the share. i hope you’ll enjoy to read it as much as i enjoyed to remember it!

girl pregnant

thinking about what we’re not thinking about. the howl of the wind, the beat of your heart. the silence. a cat that purrs, a life inhabited. an empty smell. loose words and without sense. Continue reading “to think about what we’re not thinking about”


sometimes all you have to do is ask

three girls, sitting on a bench. talking and laughing. showing complicity in a summer day.
{this one is for m. and for v., thank you girls!}

sometimes when you ask…

you get an answer.

probably not the answer you were seeking, or the one you expected to hear.

but a answer nonetheless. and exactly the one you are supposed to listen. Continue reading “sometimes all you have to do is ask”

why depression is good for you

hand coming out of the ocean asking for help

Maybe we could appreciate the role of depression in the economy of the soul more if we could only take away the negative connotations of the word. What if “depression” were simply a state of being, neither good nor bad, something the soul does in its own good time and for its own good reasons? What if it were simply one of the planets that circle the sun? One advantage of using the traditional image of Saturn, in place of the clinical term depression, is that then we might see melancholy more as a valid way of being rather than as a problem that needs to be eradicated.

~ thomas moore, care of the soul

i used to be like some of you.

a believer that depression was a bad sign. that something was wrong with me.

i shouldn’t feel this way:

sad, angered, easily irritated. with such dark thoughts and blue-ish red emotions. Continue reading “why depression is good for you”

the no-guide of how to be noticed

men with a light jar

Quien es transparente no necesita llamar la atención para ser notado.


Who is transparent doesn’t need to claim for attention to be noticed.

~ benjamín griss via elchicodelayer

i’ll be honest here. transparent. 🙂

i like to be noticed.

i think everyone does.

we put the best side of our personality in everything we do, so people get to know us. so people notice us. so people fall in love with us.

it’s a beautiful thing to feel unique, and special. because we are. Continue reading “the no-guide of how to be noticed”

8 ways zumba is making me feel alive

girl dancing in open air

moving diaries // zumba nr. 2

if you missed the other diary entries, check them here.

i’m still amazed how dancing releases my wild nature, my true self.

my husband says i don’t look like myself, because i’m more extroverted. more bossy: i do ask for what i want, with no apologies. with no excuses. with no holding backs.

and i replied: that doesn’t mean i’m not being myself. it just shows that people aren’t used to that side of my personality. that they don’t know my real self, because i was never able to reveal it. Continue reading “8 ways zumba is making me feel alive”

10 real promises i made to my husband

happy couple

when people get married they usually share vows of eternal love, respect, and loyalty. until death do us part.

although i know i met my soulmate, i find those promises unrealistic. people aren’t perfect, we make mistakes. we aren’t always able to love, to forgive, to respect, or to be loyal. and we can grow in separate ways. death isn’t always the finish line.

i am aware of how harsh i can be. or how unconfident and touchy.

i am aware of how tired he can become. and overwhelmed. and lost.

so i made my own kind of vows, only promising what i can keep: Continue reading “10 real promises i made to my husband”

it isn’t all about stuff

books, flowers and a cup of coffee on a table

// following my values as much as i question them. so i’m not trapped in my own mind, in my own box and can find alternatives and new ways of thinking, and new ways of doing and of living.

#12 of 17 mantras of simple living

simple living is often considered as the opposing view of materialism.

at the beginning of my journey, i agreed deeply with that way of looking at life: either you are a consumer or a creator.

but, i’m starting to realize that simple living is much more than that. Continue reading “it isn’t all about stuff”

why routines are killing you and what to do about it

before going to routines. let me tell you about what i discover today about death, life and sex.

have you heard about the death drive?

it is a psychoanalytic term to explain the desire of death. not per se, but a version of it that goes against the drive of pleasure, of creation and life.

it seems like death and sex are two sides of the same coin. Continue reading “why routines are killing you and what to do about it”