#goingvegan was a failure, now what?

squirrel on a green park

a squirrel told me i must be more careful of the way i eat.

wait, i’m not crazy. let me explain.

last night i had a crazy dream where a squirrel bitten me (first time as a dreamer. ok, on this lifetime).

and that image was so present in my mind that i had to look what that meant.

the web said i had some relationship problems, or that i was pursuing the wrong things. that didn’t feel right.

so i went on for other explanations and somewhere i found that the best way to know is by meditating and asking our animal totems. (i’m a big fan of journaling and i know meditation works so…)

well, i don’t know if you believe in spirit animals. i don’t know if i do, but i gave it a try.

i asked my totem what that image meant and instantly i felt a bad sensation on my stomach.

i felt the answer was given: i wasn’t treating my body the way it should. i need to be more careful of the way i eat.

and that’s true, lately i’ve not been eating intentionally. just what comes easy at the time. but it’s never easy to mistreat our bodies, is it?

remember my #aweekwithnomeat challenge? do you want to know how it went?

don’t be too excited. i fell miserably.

right on the second day, i ate meat. and couldn’t get back on track because i was too ashamed.

but i did learn an old lesson: i wasn’t prepared. i had the idea and jumped right away without having all i needed at the reach of my hands.

toast with fruits

to avoid pitfalls, i’ve done a week list worth of meals. and all the ingredients i need for them.

all in all, i got 34 of them. including spices. there’s no meat, no fish and almost no animal products (i still use milk and eggs on occasion).

i don’t know if i’m being too harsh on myself.

again.

but at least now i have a guideline that i can follow or change as needed.

no one said going vegan, or being healthy, would be easy. but it’s way more painless than not enjoying what you see on the mirror, or how you feel in your body.

now that summer is over for some of us, what are you doing for your health? share on the comments!

#themaskwriter

//credit: photos by cristina schek  and joseph gonzalez on unsplash

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get ecstatic without drugs

women blindfolded dancing

once again, i can’t sleep.

i blame you, zumba! in a very, very good way.

i feel so energized. so happy. so freaking ecstatic. soooo invincible.

this stuff is powerful.

what i realized this time, though. is that i can’t seem to let go my preconceptions about my body, my skills, the way i move.

it doesn’t happen when i’m alone.

and that prevents me to fully enjoy the class.

i don’t smile much. i don’t let go. i don’t flow.

i don’t feel energized. nor ecstatic.

it’s like it was a counter-effect. Continue reading “get ecstatic without drugs”

dance, dance, dance and be wild!

baby cheetah

moving diaries // zumba nr. 3

if you missed the other diary entries, check them here.

i would never dream that zumba would have such a big impact in my life. along with the freedom tribe course, i’m changing deep inside.

dissolving patterns. creating new ones.

i’m a new person. more confident.

what i am learning is that we need to find something, anything that let us be free and wild for a while. that let us be with our discomforts, that let us transform dark energies into light. Continue reading “dance, dance, dance and be wild!”

let go of letting go

man dancing on the street

moving diaries // zumba nr. 3

if you missed the previous diary entries, check them here.

for today’s lesson, i created a mandala. {you might want to check it out on my insta}

if you don’t know what a mandala is, i like to define it as a meditation drawing, symmetrical. and that always convey meaning or a feeling.

when i’m drawing mandalas i don’t think about what i’ll put on paper. i just have the theme on my mind and let my hands move freely.

i’m always surprised by the result, which is always way more beautiful than the one i could create by intention. Continue reading “let go of letting go”

8 ways zumba is making me feel alive

girl dancing in open air

moving diaries // zumba nr. 2

if you missed the other diary entries, check them here.

i’m still amazed how dancing releases my wild nature, my true self.

my husband says i don’t look like myself, because i’m more extroverted. more bossy: i do ask for what i want, with no apologies. with no excuses. with no holding backs.

and i replied: that doesn’t mean i’m not being myself. it just shows that people aren’t used to that side of my personality. that they don’t know my real self, because i was never able to reveal it. Continue reading “8 ways zumba is making me feel alive”

10 real promises i made to my husband

happy couple

when people get married they usually share vows of eternal love, respect, and loyalty. until death do us part.

although i know i met my soulmate, i find those promises unrealistic. people aren’t perfect, we make mistakes. we aren’t always able to love, to forgive, to respect, or to be loyal. and we can grow in separate ways. death isn’t always the finish line.

i am aware of how harsh i can be. or how unconfident and touchy.

i am aware of how tired he can become. and overwhelmed. and lost.

so i made my own kind of vows, only promising what i can keep: Continue reading “10 real promises i made to my husband”