there’s more of me to love than just fatness

real women are fat. and thin. and both, and neither, and otherwise.

~ hanne blank

i look at myself, and see this balloon of a belly hurting my eyes.

although i am a supporter of beauty in all sizes, i don’t feel beautiful when i have “extra” weight.

altough i follow inspiring plus size models, at times, i don’t feel sexy on my own skin. but being sensual is an attitude rather than a format. i know that. i feel that. i just forget it sometimes.

being constantly told: you need to loose weight, gets on us.

feeling uncomfortable in our own skin and yet have to hear the world judge us…is hell. and yet they say it’s for our own good. they want us to be happy, and successful, and beautiful and be the great person they say they can see in ourselves.

i wonder how weight has anything to do with THAT.

my big or small belly doesn’t make me any more or less smart. it certainly shouldn’t make me repulsive or adored. less alone be the sole indicator of a joyful life.

if someone thinks you’re not awesome already, because of some fat cells; then they will never will. because it isn’t your size that gives you value.

can’t we be happy and successful and beautiful in any size? ‘course we can!

people that give too much importance to how you look, will never try to understand your feelings, or the way your mind works. and they will never find the time to worry about growing their soul.

people that give too much importance to outwards value, will find themselves in a circle of guilt. should i do eat this or not? should i wear this or not? should i {insert option here} or not? trying to please others instead of themselves. always regretting decisions. always wasting energy in meaningless resolutions.

when you’re about to die, what your concern will be: if you always looked perfect? if others always had good thoughts about you? {they won’t} or will it be if you enjoyed your life to the most? if you tried new things? if you used your body and mind in wonderful ways?

because a body with stretch marks, and scars and wrinkles is a body well lived. is a body that took out the best the world has to offer.

so if you have any of those stretch marks, and scars, and wrinkles. be proud. you are living a life worth to talk about. worth to be remembered.

i’ve been changing weight for as long as i remember. being thin was good, but it didn’t made me feel more worthy. the best part was that i didn’t have to hear those words again.

however, obliging our body to have a certain format, just to shut up those voices… isn’t natural. and it isn’t right.

i’m talking a lot about body-shaming, i know. and that’s because it’s a constant theme in my life. every time i hear the words: you need to loose weight or else… i hide myself in my own bubble. i become the shy, sad, depressed teenager i learnt and spared no effort to overcome. and i am not myself anymore.

so, writing, once again, becomes my left-hand {that’s the hand i write}. it helps me to recognize how beautiful i am, how sexy i am, how powerful my body and mind are.

if you are struggling with how your body looks like: it doesn’t matter if you’re ‘too’ skinny, ‘too’ fat, ‘too’ short, ‘too’ tall or whatever. write. write all you’re feeling.

your notebook won’t judge you. it won’t agree with you or try to change your mind. it will only listen to you and let you say everything you have to say, until your hands hurt and there’s not a single drop of sadness in your system.

and when you read all that emotional stuff, you’ll have a glimpse of who you really are and you’ll feel worthy. just like i am doing now.

i want to inspire you, kid. to see the world as a child, but not to feel powerless. as often children do.

you’ve got this! (;

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«-,- { keep writing, } -‘-»

vector of a venetian mask

#themaskwriter

<<<333

if you liked this post, you’ll love this one too. and this touching story by the cage bird sings {it talks about pcos – a condition that can make you fat}.

~~~~

p. s. oh and it’s ok if you want to look and feel perfect, from time to time. it’s ok if you want to take care of your body, as much as you want to take care of your soul. just don’t put your self-worth on how others see you. 💜

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